Abuse is a serious issue, and this page is by no means exhaustive. If you want to know more, I strongly suggest checking out the Teen Health page on abuse.
tips and advice
what is an abusive situation?
Your dad may get frustrated and yell at you once in a while. Your mom might have given you a swat on the bottom when you were little and misbehaved. You and your significant other may sometimes get upset and say hurtful things to each other. All of these situations, while not good, are normal human experiences and are not considered abuse.
However, if your dad is constantly yelling at you, calling you names and saying you’re no good, that’s a form of emotional abuse. If your mom hits you, shakes you, or does other things that leave marks or injure you, that’s a form of physical abuse. If your significant other forces you to have sex or even kiss when you don’t want to, that’s sexual abuse.
You might have grown up in a home where abuse is normal, where hitting, beating, and angry name-calling are just ways of life. You might believe that the abuse is happening because you’re a “bad kid” or you “deserve it.” This is not true. If someone is abusing you, it’s because they have a problem keeping their emotions in control, or because their experiences have led them to think abuse is the best way to handle the situation. But it isn’t.
However, if your dad is constantly yelling at you, calling you names and saying you’re no good, that’s a form of emotional abuse. If your mom hits you, shakes you, or does other things that leave marks or injure you, that’s a form of physical abuse. If your significant other forces you to have sex or even kiss when you don’t want to, that’s sexual abuse.
You might have grown up in a home where abuse is normal, where hitting, beating, and angry name-calling are just ways of life. You might believe that the abuse is happening because you’re a “bad kid” or you “deserve it.” This is not true. If someone is abusing you, it’s because they have a problem keeping their emotions in control, or because their experiences have led them to think abuse is the best way to handle the situation. But it isn’t.
if you think you're being abused
If you think you’re being abused, you need to TELL AN ADULT YOU TRUST. Your parents are the most important people to tell, unless they’re the ones doing the abusing. If this is the case, then an adult you trust may be a guidance counselor at school, a teacher who you have a good relationship with, or the leader of an extracurricular activity you participate in.
If you don’t feel like you can trust anyone in your life, there are phone numbers you can call to get someone to talk to. You can also click on the links below to learn more or to chat online with someone who can help.
Child Abuse: 1 (800) 422-4453
Domestic Abuse (abuse happening at home): 1 (800) 799-7233
Sexual Abuse: 1 (800) 656-4673
When you report that you’re being abused, the person you’re talking to will most likely want to hear the details so that they can begin figuring out what to do about the situation. These details can be very difficult to talk about, but it’s very important that you help them understand exactly what is going on. Remember, abuse is NOT YOUR FAULT. Maybe the person who’s been abusing you has told you that it is. Maybe you can think back to things you did that led to what they did. But whatever you’ve done, even if they have reasons to be upset with you, they do not have reasons to do things to you that are physically or emotionally harmful.
Recognize that abuse is not something to be taken lightly. Nobody deserves to be in a situation in which they feel threatened or afraid of someone all the time. It can take a lot of courage to speak up about something like this, but speaking up is the right thing. It’s the first step toward getting you out of the bad situation.
If you don’t feel like you can trust anyone in your life, there are phone numbers you can call to get someone to talk to. You can also click on the links below to learn more or to chat online with someone who can help.
Child Abuse: 1 (800) 422-4453
Domestic Abuse (abuse happening at home): 1 (800) 799-7233
Sexual Abuse: 1 (800) 656-4673
When you report that you’re being abused, the person you’re talking to will most likely want to hear the details so that they can begin figuring out what to do about the situation. These details can be very difficult to talk about, but it’s very important that you help them understand exactly what is going on. Remember, abuse is NOT YOUR FAULT. Maybe the person who’s been abusing you has told you that it is. Maybe you can think back to things you did that led to what they did. But whatever you’ve done, even if they have reasons to be upset with you, they do not have reasons to do things to you that are physically or emotionally harmful.
Recognize that abuse is not something to be taken lightly. Nobody deserves to be in a situation in which they feel threatened or afraid of someone all the time. It can take a lot of courage to speak up about something like this, but speaking up is the right thing. It’s the first step toward getting you out of the bad situation.
if you think someone else is being abused
Common signs that someone is being abused include fear, depression, a reluctance to go home, frequent injuries, withdrawal from friends, and a loss of confidence. If you see these signs in someone you know, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re being abused, but it’s something you might want to inform a parent or other trusted adult about just in case.
If a friend confides in you that they are being abused, it’s very important to tell an adult you trust. Even if your friend specifically tells you not to tell anybody. A lot of times abuse victims are embarrassed by what’s going on, or have been threatened by the abuser that if they tell anyone the abuse will just get worse. A friend who tells you about their abusive situation might see it as a betrayal of their trust if you tell somebody else. But it’s a worse betrayal of their trust if you know they’re in an abusive situation and don’t do anything about it.
If a friend confides in you that they are being abused, it’s very important to tell an adult you trust. Even if your friend specifically tells you not to tell anybody. A lot of times abuse victims are embarrassed by what’s going on, or have been threatened by the abuser that if they tell anyone the abuse will just get worse. A friend who tells you about their abusive situation might see it as a betrayal of their trust if you tell somebody else. But it’s a worse betrayal of their trust if you know they’re in an abusive situation and don’t do anything about it.
sex trafficking / exploitation
Human trafficking. That sounds like the kind of thing that happens far away, right? Off in third-world countries, in remote areas or dirty, grimy sections of town…
Actually, it’s something that happens everywhere. Including in your own state. The Department of Homeland Security defines human trafficking as “force, fraud, or coercion to obtain some type of labor or commercial sex act.” (A commercial sex act is when someone gets paid for doing something sexual—prostitution, performing at a strip club, and pornography are all commercial sex acts.) Traffickers look specifically for people who they think will be easy targets—people who live in poverty, have mental health issues, have drug addictions, feel unloved, or have low self-esteem. Traffickers often manipulate these people into doing things for them by offering well-paying jobs, romantic relationships, or other enticing benefits.
Traffickers will usually try to isolate their victims from family and friends, knowing that the fewer trustworthy people the victim has in his or her life, the harder it will be for the victim to escape. That being said, people who are being trafficked are not always kept hidden away from society—they may still go to school, work, and other places, even while they’re engaging in forced labor or prostitution on the side. They keep quiet about what’s going on, because they’re ashamed of their situation and because they don’t think anyone will be able to help them get out of it. They may have even been brainwashed to believe that they’re in the best situation possible for them—which is very, very far from the truth.
The following signs may indicate that someone is being trafficked:
If you are being trafficked, or if you suspect someone else is, call the National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1 (888) 373-7888 or text BeFree (233733)
If you are interested in learning more about this topic and how to get involved in stopping it, check out the Polaris Project. It's a great resource!
If you really want to know what sex trafficking is like, check out The Diary of Jasmine Grace. It is the actual diary written by a woman while she was being sex trafficked, and it's powerful. It contains a LOT of swearing and sexual content, though, so I would not recommend this book to younger teens.
Actually, it’s something that happens everywhere. Including in your own state. The Department of Homeland Security defines human trafficking as “force, fraud, or coercion to obtain some type of labor or commercial sex act.” (A commercial sex act is when someone gets paid for doing something sexual—prostitution, performing at a strip club, and pornography are all commercial sex acts.) Traffickers look specifically for people who they think will be easy targets—people who live in poverty, have mental health issues, have drug addictions, feel unloved, or have low self-esteem. Traffickers often manipulate these people into doing things for them by offering well-paying jobs, romantic relationships, or other enticing benefits.
Traffickers will usually try to isolate their victims from family and friends, knowing that the fewer trustworthy people the victim has in his or her life, the harder it will be for the victim to escape. That being said, people who are being trafficked are not always kept hidden away from society—they may still go to school, work, and other places, even while they’re engaging in forced labor or prostitution on the side. They keep quiet about what’s going on, because they’re ashamed of their situation and because they don’t think anyone will be able to help them get out of it. They may have even been brainwashed to believe that they’re in the best situation possible for them—which is very, very far from the truth.
The following signs may indicate that someone is being trafficked:
- Hard time looking in people's eyes
- Presence of a controlling or dangerous-seeming 'boyfriend’
- Fear, tension, depression
- Injuries, including bruises in various stages of healing
- Signs of poor nourishment and not being healthy
- Submissiveness (doing whatever someone else tells them to do)
- When asked personal questions, their answers sound rehearsed or have inconsistencies
- They claim to be an adult but look/seem younger
- They claim that they're visiting someone but can never remember the address
- Disoriented or confused
If you are being trafficked, or if you suspect someone else is, call the National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1 (888) 373-7888 or text BeFree (233733)
If you are interested in learning more about this topic and how to get involved in stopping it, check out the Polaris Project. It's a great resource!
If you really want to know what sex trafficking is like, check out The Diary of Jasmine Grace. It is the actual diary written by a woman while she was being sex trafficked, and it's powerful. It contains a LOT of swearing and sexual content, though, so I would not recommend this book to younger teens.
Ellie Sinclair is a talented singer-songwriter who has released two albums: the first about her experiences in an abusive relationship, and the second about the healing she found after breaking free of the relationship. This song "Isolation," from her abuse album, describes the feelings of loneliness and fear that can come from being abused.
I encourage you to give it a listen, and to check out her other music as well! |
This video tells the true story of a woman named Chong Kim, who was sex trafficked for many years. It also provides some sobering facts about human trafficking.
This video does not contain any graphic or triggering images; however, the topic is one that may not be appropriate for all viewers. |
“From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says 'I have survived."'
- Craig Scott