Lyrics to "This Ocean" (song about depression)
(This is a song I wrote from the perspective of someone with depression. I did not write it with Waves Crashing Just Like Me in mind, but I think it does pretty well at encapsulating Elyse’s perspective, and the “ocean” theme fits with the book. I don’t have instrumentation for this song yet, but I envision the verses as rap in the style of “Why” by NF, and the chorus in a sort of slow pop style, like "i hate u, i love u" by Gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien.
Random note: The image on this page was taken at Hampton Beach, where Waves Crashing Just Like Me takes place!
Random note: The image on this page was taken at Hampton Beach, where Waves Crashing Just Like Me takes place!
This Ocean
I’m struggling, I’m drowning in a deep sea
And all around are people who wanna help, but they don’t get me
They look at my behaviors and they judge me like I’m healthy
But I’m not, so stop comparing me to others; that upsets me
Yeah, maybe I’m not in a wheelchair
I’m not emaciated standing here with no hair
Don’t have a Pacemaker, inhaler, or compressed air
My illness is in my mind but I still need care
I hate when people ask me why; they ask me, “Aren’t you strong enough?”
Yes, I’m strong, at least I try, but one can only take so much
Some days all I do is cry, some days all I feel is numb
Sometimes all I feel is anger at this thing that I’ve become
It’s an explosion, of emotions
And I’m wishing I could keep my heart open
I keep hoping, for something that’ll keep me floating
In this ocean
You don’t know me
You don’t understand my story, I’m lonely
And I’m broken, all my faith and hope eroding
In this ocean
There’s stuff going on in my life that you don’t see
In my family, with my friends, but mostly just inside me
Wondering if I’ll ever get the spark of hope that I need
Wondering if these crashing waves of pain will ever recede
Yeah, maybe when I try to help it just hurts
Maybe my coping methods just make things worse
But I’ve still got a life to live on this earth
And to make it through each day I need some succor
I hate when people ask me why; they ask me, “Aren’t you strong enough?”
The proof is here, I’m still alive; clearly I haven’t given up
Feels like all I do is try, but let me tell you, some days it’s tough
To keep my head held high when all I ever get is bad luck
It’s an explosion, of emotions
And I’m wishing I could keep my heart open
I keep hoping, for something that’ll keep me floating
In this ocean
You don’t know me
You don’t understand my story, I’m lonely
And I’m broken, all my faith and hope eroding
In this ocean
You want me to be strong and happy all the time
I want that too, but that’s just not real life
I’m sick of people telling me I have to try
I’ve been trying all these years and I’m still not all right
And it’s so exhausting, people who just want to hang with happy me
You’re asking me to fake the way I feel, no that ain’t happening
I’d rather hole up in my room alone than do something that challenging
The waves get bigger every time I try to swim, it’s maddening
It’s an explosion, of emotions
And I’m wishing I could keep my heart open
I keep hoping, for something that’ll keep me floating
In this ocean
You don’t know me
You don’t understand my story, I’m lonely
And I’m broken, all my faith and hope eroding
In this ocean
I’m struggling, I’m drowning in a deep sea
And all around are people who wanna help, but they don’t get me
They look at my behaviors and they judge me like I’m healthy
But I’m not, so stop comparing me to others; that upsets me
Yeah, maybe I’m not in a wheelchair
I’m not emaciated standing here with no hair
Don’t have a Pacemaker, inhaler, or compressed air
My illness is in my mind but I still need care
I hate when people ask me why; they ask me, “Aren’t you strong enough?”
Yes, I’m strong, at least I try, but one can only take so much
Some days all I do is cry, some days all I feel is numb
Sometimes all I feel is anger at this thing that I’ve become
It’s an explosion, of emotions
And I’m wishing I could keep my heart open
I keep hoping, for something that’ll keep me floating
In this ocean
You don’t know me
You don’t understand my story, I’m lonely
And I’m broken, all my faith and hope eroding
In this ocean
There’s stuff going on in my life that you don’t see
In my family, with my friends, but mostly just inside me
Wondering if I’ll ever get the spark of hope that I need
Wondering if these crashing waves of pain will ever recede
Yeah, maybe when I try to help it just hurts
Maybe my coping methods just make things worse
But I’ve still got a life to live on this earth
And to make it through each day I need some succor
I hate when people ask me why; they ask me, “Aren’t you strong enough?”
The proof is here, I’m still alive; clearly I haven’t given up
Feels like all I do is try, but let me tell you, some days it’s tough
To keep my head held high when all I ever get is bad luck
It’s an explosion, of emotions
And I’m wishing I could keep my heart open
I keep hoping, for something that’ll keep me floating
In this ocean
You don’t know me
You don’t understand my story, I’m lonely
And I’m broken, all my faith and hope eroding
In this ocean
You want me to be strong and happy all the time
I want that too, but that’s just not real life
I’m sick of people telling me I have to try
I’ve been trying all these years and I’m still not all right
And it’s so exhausting, people who just want to hang with happy me
You’re asking me to fake the way I feel, no that ain’t happening
I’d rather hole up in my room alone than do something that challenging
The waves get bigger every time I try to swim, it’s maddening
It’s an explosion, of emotions
And I’m wishing I could keep my heart open
I keep hoping, for something that’ll keep me floating
In this ocean
You don’t know me
You don’t understand my story, I’m lonely
And I’m broken, all my faith and hope eroding
In this ocean
