Tough Times
April and May of Allisen’s ninth grade year are rough. When a child or teenager dies, it shakes the whole community—first of all the family, and second of all the school. Allisen’s school is certainly shaken up by Tomas’s death.
Allisen wasn’t friends with Tomas. She didn’t even particularly like him. But when he dies, her whole world is turned upside-down, and she spends weeks living in fear that somebody else is going to die. Her friends are experiencing a lot of the same feelings. But even though everybody feels sad and afraid and guilty, and nobody has all the answers, they band together to try to help one another out. |
Kim, Shevea, and Allisen lead a Bible study group meeting on death, to give everyone a chance to talk about their feelings and maybe find some sort of an answer. Allisen doesn’t want anything more to do with that topic, but she agrees to participate in the meeting. And it does help, when she hears what the others have to say. Sometimes, when you’re going through a tough time, people who are going through the same tough time (or who have been through similar situations in the past) are the ones most able to help you.
By the end of April, Allisen, Kim, Shevea, Jack, and Ellie are healing. Obviously things aren’t the same as they were before, and everybody still has some things to work through. But they know they have each other, and that helps.
Stivre isn’t healing. Stivre is getting worse and worse.
Tomas was Stivre’s friend. Stivre knew Tomas before he knew Jack, or Kim, or Allisen, or Shevea or Ellie or Madalee or basically anyone else he hangs out with. Now Tomas is dead, and it’s too much for Stivre to take. His other friends are trying to help him, but Stivre pulls away from all of them, claiming that he deals better with things like this alone. Despite his constant rebuffing of all of their approaches, his friends remain concerned about him, trying to figure out how they can reach him and bring him out of his depression.
In an attempt to numb the pain he feels about his friend’s death, Stivre begins taking painkillers. First just one or two. Then more. And more, and more, and more. Eventually, he ends up in the hospital after overdosing on whatever medicine he could find. When his friends find out he’s in the hospital, they immediately rush to his side. Over the course of the next few weeks, they stand by him. They tell him they’re there for him, and their words match their actions. They visit him almost every day. They pray for him and with him. They’re understanding of the pain he’s in, rather than condemning about the way he chose to deal with it. They give him advice and encouragement, and eventually, he returns to school, knowing that he has an excellent support system of people who care about him.
Tough times are often when we need our friends the most. Sometimes we’re tempted to walk out on our friends who are going through a rough spot, because we don’t know how to act or because they’re too boring or because they can’t spend as much time with us anymore. But it’s times like those when friends just need people who they can count on. It’s okay if you don’t know how to act. Sometimes, the best way to help your friend is just to show them you care enough to be there.
By the end of April, Allisen, Kim, Shevea, Jack, and Ellie are healing. Obviously things aren’t the same as they were before, and everybody still has some things to work through. But they know they have each other, and that helps.
Stivre isn’t healing. Stivre is getting worse and worse.
Tomas was Stivre’s friend. Stivre knew Tomas before he knew Jack, or Kim, or Allisen, or Shevea or Ellie or Madalee or basically anyone else he hangs out with. Now Tomas is dead, and it’s too much for Stivre to take. His other friends are trying to help him, but Stivre pulls away from all of them, claiming that he deals better with things like this alone. Despite his constant rebuffing of all of their approaches, his friends remain concerned about him, trying to figure out how they can reach him and bring him out of his depression.
In an attempt to numb the pain he feels about his friend’s death, Stivre begins taking painkillers. First just one or two. Then more. And more, and more, and more. Eventually, he ends up in the hospital after overdosing on whatever medicine he could find. When his friends find out he’s in the hospital, they immediately rush to his side. Over the course of the next few weeks, they stand by him. They tell him they’re there for him, and their words match their actions. They visit him almost every day. They pray for him and with him. They’re understanding of the pain he’s in, rather than condemning about the way he chose to deal with it. They give him advice and encouragement, and eventually, he returns to school, knowing that he has an excellent support system of people who care about him.
Tough times are often when we need our friends the most. Sometimes we’re tempted to walk out on our friends who are going through a rough spot, because we don’t know how to act or because they’re too boring or because they can’t spend as much time with us anymore. But it’s times like those when friends just need people who they can count on. It’s okay if you don’t know how to act. Sometimes, the best way to help your friend is just to show them you care enough to be there.