Tough Stuff:
new Love
Last chance to avoid spoilers! Don't click on any of the topics below unless you've read the book!
Julie and Mason's Trauma
Julie and Mason lived through a whole host of things that nobody should ever have to experience. First, their mom chose to end her own life. Then, their dad spent the next six years physically and verbally abusing both of them, especially Julie. When Mason finally made the decision to speak up about what was going on at home, they were removed from their dad’s custody and shuffled around to several temporary places, with no consistent, loving adults in their lives. Naturally, all of this left them with a slew of negative emotions, including hurt, anger, distrust, abandonment, guilt, and fear.
People respond to trauma in different ways. Mason is able to function normally a lot of the time, but is quick to have outbursts of rage and to say things that hurt others, even if he doesn’t really mean it. Mason wears a smile and presents confidence, but is holding a lot of pain inside, and although he doesn’t want anyone to see it, it comes out in the form of misbehavior and anger. Although he can recognize that his dad is not a good person, he feels conflicted about never getting to see him again, since he has a lot of good memories of him in addition to the bad. Mason also has a tendency to rebel against authority, possibly due to the feelings of helplessness he’s experienced all his life.
Julie, on the other hand, holds all her pain tightly inside and doesn’t let anyone, including herself, see it. She has had suicidal thoughts, but knows she will never make that choice because of what her mom’s suicide did to her. She spends most of her time attempting to escape her misery by sleeping and using drugs. She isolates herself from everybody and holds a significant amount of distrust toward adults—particularly adults who claim they love her. She believes that she cannot be helped.
Trauma is difficult to overcome, but there are ways to get help and start healing. Therapy and counseling can be beneficial, as can talking things over with trusted individuals. Prayer and a right relationship with Jesus are especially important. Additionally, it’s important to recognize that you are not what has happened to you, and that you are valued and loved by God.
People respond to trauma in different ways. Mason is able to function normally a lot of the time, but is quick to have outbursts of rage and to say things that hurt others, even if he doesn’t really mean it. Mason wears a smile and presents confidence, but is holding a lot of pain inside, and although he doesn’t want anyone to see it, it comes out in the form of misbehavior and anger. Although he can recognize that his dad is not a good person, he feels conflicted about never getting to see him again, since he has a lot of good memories of him in addition to the bad. Mason also has a tendency to rebel against authority, possibly due to the feelings of helplessness he’s experienced all his life.
Julie, on the other hand, holds all her pain tightly inside and doesn’t let anyone, including herself, see it. She has had suicidal thoughts, but knows she will never make that choice because of what her mom’s suicide did to her. She spends most of her time attempting to escape her misery by sleeping and using drugs. She isolates herself from everybody and holds a significant amount of distrust toward adults—particularly adults who claim they love her. She believes that she cannot be helped.
Trauma is difficult to overcome, but there are ways to get help and start healing. Therapy and counseling can be beneficial, as can talking things over with trusted individuals. Prayer and a right relationship with Jesus are especially important. Additionally, it’s important to recognize that you are not what has happened to you, and that you are valued and loved by God.
Julie's Drug Use
While some people, like Rebecca, choose to use marijuana or alcohol for pleasure at parties, Julie’s reasons for using these drugs are completely different. When Lauren asks her why she chooses to smoke weed, Julie responds, “It just makes life not suck as much.” Julie is turning to drugs as an attempt to escape from her situation.
While drugs can alter one’s mood and cause a person to temporarily feel better or forget about their problems, they are not a good solution. Using drugs doesn’t make the problems go away; it just masks them for a little bit… until the effects wear off and you have to take more in order to make the feelings go away again. You become dependent on a substance, which, as Julie finds, can easily run out and creates a large dent in your wallet. Drugs also have negative health effects on your body, which may not be noticeable at first but get worse the longer you use those substances.
At one point, during counseling group, Rebecca says about marijuana, “Even if it makes you feel better when you’re on it, the feelings are only temporary, and when the effects wear off you’ll feel just as crappy as you did before. The only thing that really helps with all that is having a relationship with Jesus.”
Someone close to me experienced this first-hand. He spent five years trying to deal with his difficult emotions by smoking weed, drinking alcohol, and vaping. Through all of this, he was never happy. Then he gave his life to Christ, and realized that knowing Jesus is so much better than that other lifestyle. Even though he still struggles with his emotions sometimes, he has an overall healthier body, mind, and outlook on life.
While drugs can alter one’s mood and cause a person to temporarily feel better or forget about their problems, they are not a good solution. Using drugs doesn’t make the problems go away; it just masks them for a little bit… until the effects wear off and you have to take more in order to make the feelings go away again. You become dependent on a substance, which, as Julie finds, can easily run out and creates a large dent in your wallet. Drugs also have negative health effects on your body, which may not be noticeable at first but get worse the longer you use those substances.
At one point, during counseling group, Rebecca says about marijuana, “Even if it makes you feel better when you’re on it, the feelings are only temporary, and when the effects wear off you’ll feel just as crappy as you did before. The only thing that really helps with all that is having a relationship with Jesus.”
Someone close to me experienced this first-hand. He spent five years trying to deal with his difficult emotions by smoking weed, drinking alcohol, and vaping. Through all of this, he was never happy. Then he gave his life to Christ, and realized that knowing Jesus is so much better than that other lifestyle. Even though he still struggles with his emotions sometimes, he has an overall healthier body, mind, and outlook on life.
Emotional Numbness
Toward the beginning of the book, Julie finds herself experiencing emotional numbness as a response to the trauma she’s endured. According to VeryWell Mind, “Feeling emotionally numb can happen as a result of physical or emotional pain. In an attempt to protect yourself from being hurt again, it’s not uncommon to disconnect, detach, or numb out feelings related to the situation.” Julie’s extreme—and justified—feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and pain got to the point where it was so bad, her brain decided to just stop experiencing emotions altogether. This was intended as a defense mechanism to prevent any more pain.
But as Julie learns throughout the book, emotions—even negative ones—are actually a good thing. If we never allow ourselves to process how we’re feeling, we can’t begin healing. Julie keeps all her emotions locked away while she’s still experiencing trauma, and then uncertain circumstances. But once she has the safety and stability of living with Lauren, the emotions start coming back. Although the anger and sadness make things seem worse, they’re actually an indication that she’s on the road toward feeling better.
But as Julie learns throughout the book, emotions—even negative ones—are actually a good thing. If we never allow ourselves to process how we’re feeling, we can’t begin healing. Julie keeps all her emotions locked away while she’s still experiencing trauma, and then uncertain circumstances. But once she has the safety and stability of living with Lauren, the emotions start coming back. Although the anger and sadness make things seem worse, they’re actually an indication that she’s on the road toward feeling better.
These two songs remind me of Julie's emotional numbness. Also, these two artists are amazingly talented and have a lot of great songs about struggles they've been through and mental health issues!
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The cover on the left is the Kindle cover, and the one on the right is the print cover. Note the slight differences - the coloring, the title size, and the positioning of the characters. The characters are positioned to the side on the print cover so that the image can wrap around the spine, but we decided to bring the more toward the center for the Kindle cover. The text size and color vibrancy were also decisions made to make the Kindle cover "pop" more while keeping the print cover consistent with the other books in the series.
Go to the New Love summary page
Julie pulled the covers over her face, breathing in the stale air. Sometimes she thought it would be nice if she suffocated in her sleep. It would be peaceful to just fade away and never have to wake up again.
But just like every time she had these kinds of thoughts, Julie clenched her teeth and told herself no. No, it wouldn’t be nice. Not for Mason. They may not be the closest siblings in the world, but she could never do to him what her mom had done to her.
But just like every time she had these kinds of thoughts, Julie clenched her teeth and told herself no. No, it wouldn’t be nice. Not for Mason. They may not be the closest siblings in the world, but she could never do to him what her mom had done to her.
-p. 112
