Tough Stuff:
new life
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Aleah's Pregnancy
The central plot of New Life revolves around Aleah and her impossible situation: finding out that she’s pregnant for the second time in her sixteen-year-old life. Her emotions are going haywire. How am I going to tell my mom? I can’t support another baby. People are going to think such horrible things about me. What am I going to do? My life is OVER!!!!
Aleah has decisions to make. She briefly toys with the idea of having an abortion, but decides pretty quickly that that wouldn’t be fair to the baby. For a good portion of the book, she considers placing the child for adoption, recognizing that he or she would most likely be better off being raised by two parents who would have more time and energy to spend with the child. Aleah’s mom lobbies for this, putting additional pressure on Aleah. In the end, though, Aleah decides to raise her baby.
I hope I made it clear in New Life that I support both child-raising and placing for adoption, and that the decision between these two alternatives is an intensely personal one. If you’re in the situation Aleah’s in, I can’t tell you what to choose. There were a lot of logical reasons Aleah should have placed her baby for adoption—her age, her work, school, and financial situation, her lack of a relationship with the baby’s father, the fact that she and her mom were already struggling to care for one child—but in her heart, Aleah felt that she would deeply miss her baby if she chose not to be the one to raise her.
Do you think that Aleah made the right choice? In the future, do you think that she will feel regret or relief about her decision?
Aleah has decisions to make. She briefly toys with the idea of having an abortion, but decides pretty quickly that that wouldn’t be fair to the baby. For a good portion of the book, she considers placing the child for adoption, recognizing that he or she would most likely be better off being raised by two parents who would have more time and energy to spend with the child. Aleah’s mom lobbies for this, putting additional pressure on Aleah. In the end, though, Aleah decides to raise her baby.
I hope I made it clear in New Life that I support both child-raising and placing for adoption, and that the decision between these two alternatives is an intensely personal one. If you’re in the situation Aleah’s in, I can’t tell you what to choose. There were a lot of logical reasons Aleah should have placed her baby for adoption—her age, her work, school, and financial situation, her lack of a relationship with the baby’s father, the fact that she and her mom were already struggling to care for one child—but in her heart, Aleah felt that she would deeply miss her baby if she chose not to be the one to raise her.
Do you think that Aleah made the right choice? In the future, do you think that she will feel regret or relief about her decision?
Dealing with Grief
Seven years ago, Aleah, Georgia, and Steve all faced the heartbreak of having a family member torn away from them too soon. Their methods of dealing with the tragedies, however, were vastly different.
Although Steve spent a few years drowning in sadness over his wife’s death, he kept his faith in God, and eventually decided he wanted to do what he could to ensure that others wouldn’t lose their loved ones in the same way. He started a youth group, and in addition to impacting many teenagers’ lives, Steve found a sense of fulfillment in his own life as well.
Aleah and Georgia, however, just kept burrowing deeper and deeper into their pain. Rather than working through their emotions together, they withdrew from one another until their relationship could hardly be considered a relationship at all. Rather than reaching for God, they both pulled away from Him, Georgia deciding that He must not even be real. Aleah took the first opportunity presented to latch onto what she thought was love, and when she found out it wasn’t, became consumed with revenge and hatred.
Bad things happen in life. We don’t have control over that. We don’t have control over how we feel, either. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to mourn.
But there are healthy ways to deal with grief, and there are unhealthy ways to deal with grief. Steve chose a healthy path. Aleah and Georgia chose unhealthy paths.
Although Steve spent a few years drowning in sadness over his wife’s death, he kept his faith in God, and eventually decided he wanted to do what he could to ensure that others wouldn’t lose their loved ones in the same way. He started a youth group, and in addition to impacting many teenagers’ lives, Steve found a sense of fulfillment in his own life as well.
Aleah and Georgia, however, just kept burrowing deeper and deeper into their pain. Rather than working through their emotions together, they withdrew from one another until their relationship could hardly be considered a relationship at all. Rather than reaching for God, they both pulled away from Him, Georgia deciding that He must not even be real. Aleah took the first opportunity presented to latch onto what she thought was love, and when she found out it wasn’t, became consumed with revenge and hatred.
Bad things happen in life. We don’t have control over that. We don’t have control over how we feel, either. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to mourn.
But there are healthy ways to deal with grief, and there are unhealthy ways to deal with grief. Steve chose a healthy path. Aleah and Georgia chose unhealthy paths.
Aleah and Georgia's Relationship
Family relationships are complicated. Nobody gets to choose what family they’re born into. Some families have more struggles than others. For some people, family are the people with whom they feel loved, secure, and content. For others, family are the people they can’t wait to get away from.
Aleah and Georgia had a great relationship until the tragedy that rocked their entire world. Then, they spent seven long, dark years with only minimal interaction. They were eventually able to repair the relationship, but it was a long process that didn’t just happen on its own.
In most cases, family relationships that have been broken can be mended. It’s not always easy—Georgia and Aleah’s path to reconciliation was paved by many meetings with Pastor Steve, Aleah’s burgeoning relationship with God, and everything that went along with Aleah’s pregnancy—but it is possible.
Aleah and Georgia had a great relationship until the tragedy that rocked their entire world. Then, they spent seven long, dark years with only minimal interaction. They were eventually able to repair the relationship, but it was a long process that didn’t just happen on its own.
In most cases, family relationships that have been broken can be mended. It’s not always easy—Georgia and Aleah’s path to reconciliation was paved by many meetings with Pastor Steve, Aleah’s burgeoning relationship with God, and everything that went along with Aleah’s pregnancy—but it is possible.
Facing Judgment
One of the many challenges Aleah faced with her pregnancy was the knowledge that she would be judged by others. This is why she kept it a secret from the New Life kids for so long—she was afraid that they wouldn’t want to be her friend anymore when they found out the truth.
There was some validity to these fears, for sure. Although Aleah fortunately didn’t have to come face-to-face with it, there were families who left the church when they found out that Steve had allowed a pregnant teenager to join the youth group. Michaela’s parents, for example, were condescending and narrow-minded, not at all living according to the true tenets of their professed faith.
You will always face judgment from others, whether it’s for something big or something small. Don’t build your life around questions like “How will others see me if I do this?” Instead, focus on what’s actually important—is it the right thing to do? What will it accomplish? What kind of impact will it have?
There was some validity to these fears, for sure. Although Aleah fortunately didn’t have to come face-to-face with it, there were families who left the church when they found out that Steve had allowed a pregnant teenager to join the youth group. Michaela’s parents, for example, were condescending and narrow-minded, not at all living according to the true tenets of their professed faith.
You will always face judgment from others, whether it’s for something big or something small. Don’t build your life around questions like “How will others see me if I do this?” Instead, focus on what’s actually important—is it the right thing to do? What will it accomplish? What kind of impact will it have?
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(The covers above were ideas that were considered for the New Life cover before the final design was decided on.)
Go to the New Life summary page
"What we have to understand is that God's ways are not our ways. God has a plan for each and every one of us, even if we don't know what that plan is and how He's going to make everything work out."
-Steve, p. 213
