used to be here
Lyrics:
I can’t dry my tears You used to be here It isn’t the same as missing someone with a face You never had a birthday, I never made a cake Don’t know for sure what hour or what day you slipped away But feels like I should’ve noticed, should’ve felt the future break And I miss you Want your fingers round my hand, wanna kiss you These things that I don’t understand Like why’d you have to go, when we would’ve loved you so Sang to you, lullaby, hold you close I can’t dry my tears You should still be here It isn’t the same as missing someone with a past Can’t look back on those photos, say “that day we had a blast” And you never left your handprints on my fresh paint walls Never left them on our windows but you left them on my heart And I wish you Could’ve seen the room we set up for you, if you Were here you’d probably love playing out in the yard With Sam, he’s our dog, and we’d take you to the zoo and the park But you’re not I can’t dry my tears You’ll always be here And I know someday that I’ll see you You’re being held in the arms of Jesus Someday I’ll see you face to face but for now I’m here, gotta keep my pace, and It’s so hard, ‘cause everyone expects me To move on, they’re starting to forget you But they’re not haunted by the dreams of what was lost It’s been a couple years now, we finally tried again He was born yesterday, he would’ve been your best friend So much gratitude and healing, so much joy but also pain ‘Cause he fills our hearts immensely but you can’t be replaced He’ll never know you Never have an older sibling to look up to Still I’m grateful for my children, both of you The one I get to raise, the one who’s in a different place, I love you |
Copyright 2026
Lyrics by Kelsey Gallant (2025) Melody by Kelsey Gallant (2025) Music by Deniss Pridans (billionstars) Produced by Kelsey Gallant and billionstars Mixed by Kelsey Gallant Tuned by Kelsey Gallant and Brandon Nitta Video assembled by Kelsey Gallant The Story Behind The Song:
When I bought the license to use the instrumental track for the song that would become "Breakthrough", there was a special Buy 2, Get 1 Free deal going on. I browsed billionstars's catalog to see what else I could use, and I was intrigued by this one. I thought I could use it for some kind of NF-style rap song, although I didn't have any lyrics written already that would fit it. I perused my lyrics, poems, and journal entries to see if I could find anything that fit, but nothing worked. I attempted writing a song based on a situation a friend was dealing with, but I didn't like that either. Then one night, I came across some lyrics I'd jotted down on my phone a few months before: "It isn't the same as missing someone with a face / You never had a birthday, I never made a cake." I had known that I wanted to write those lyrics into a song about someone who'd had a miscarriage, but I hadn't gotten very far. I rapped those lines to this instrumental track, and they fit! So I built the rest of the song around that premise. When I recorded my first full take of the lyrics, I wasn't even sure if I was going to release the song. I'm a singer, not a rapper! But I was pleased with how it came out, and my brother encouraged me to release it on what was going to be my next EP (but turned into an album). When I wrote and recorded this song, I didn't know anybody who was pregnant. By the time I first started getting ready to release the album, I knew 5 people who were pregnant, including my sister-in-law and one of my best friends! I remember that during that time, I didn't even really want to hear this song because it was so sad to think about. As it turned out, the album was released after all of them had given birth to beautiful healthy babies. While I am so grateful that my sister-in-law, my friend, and the other three ladies I know all get to hold and raise their precious little ones, I recognize that not everyone is so fortunate. I hope that this song brings comfort and empathy to those who carried children they never got to meet. "used to be here" is on my debut album, STORIES. Click on the picture to learn more about the inspiration behind the album, and the other songs it contains!
album cover design: Kelsey Gallant and Cam Gallant |
